There were two reasons why I started this blog: One, because I was bored out of my mind and two, because I thought this blog would have a purpose. The purpose of calling out certain individuals who do not take care of their responsibilities. While it's a noble one, I realize that I am not the person to do it.
My Godson is almost two. He's the cutest thing on the planet;I love him to death. Unfortunately, his father is not in his life. I channeled the anger I felt for that dude into this blog because I felt
men boys like him needed to be checked.
But I could never muster up the energy to be a hater. It's hard to hate something that makes itself sooo easy to hate especially when you know situations that some athletes get into can be prevented.
After the whole Jena 6 drama/situation/ordeal, I noticed that my Brothers and Sisters were participating in reactive behavior. Ten of thousands of people didn't care about these six boys before their actions got them in jail but now all of sudden, it's a problem that Black men are going through the revolving door of the criminal justice system. Wearing black t-shirts and collecting sneakers (thanks Temple U. *smh*) during "Jena 6 month" made some people feel better about looking dirty at a group of Black boys when they are walking down the street ... made some people feel better about letting their schools deteriorate while they drive past in their luxury cars ... made some peoeple feel better for supporting that one Black boy that makes it to the NBA while they let the other millions who aren't as fortunate, struggle to find a life without a basketball. If we as a people gave a damn sometimes, things could be entirely different.
Last night, I watched "The Education of Ms. Groves", a one-year look at a first-year middle school teacher inside an urban school. They profiled these two boys ... one who lost both of his parents and was living with his grandmother and the other who lived inside of a hotel room with his mother and his five siblings waiting for their chance to find an habitable place to call home. Because the teacher gave a damn and she encourages those two boys, one made the honor roll while the other made the Gifted and Talented program at the school. She gave a damn about their futures.
Sorry I went on a tangent but my point is that this blog falls under that reactive category. Kurking out on men who don't take care of their babies is not going to fix the real problems we have with sexuality in this society. I was a teenager; I know what it's like out here. Adults, for some reason, act like they don't have a clue. That's why I plan to be proactive.
I've realized that I'm part of a fortunate group: African-American women who grew up with their fathers. Yes, my Dad came off as a over-protective fool during my teenage years but he did it because he knew what was out there. Yes, my Dad almost beat up this boy I used to talk to while we were inside of a Verizon store... but he almost did it because he knew this dude disrespected me. Yes, my father almost threatened my life because he had this slight inclination that I was wildin' out in the streets but he did it because he knew I was too smart, too talented and too promising to mess up.
There were days when I wanted to choke my father (there still are -- three times this week, true story) for "ruining my life" but I realize that I was fortunate to have a father who gave a damn about me and how I ran my life. He let me mess up so I could learn from my mistakes. He actually let me have some type of life in high school because he knew I needed to build a social life. He let boys call the house -- still stunned about that to this day -- because he knew that was a normal part of life.
So when I look at these boys -- yes, boys because men take care of their seeds -- who do not take care of their children, it pisses me off. Do you realize what you are missing out in your life? Do you realize that your absence has an effect on your child, whether you like it or not. Do you realize that you have a bigger responsibilty in this world than yourself? Your son or daugther needs you ...
If I can prevent one girl from laying on her back when she isn't ready, my life would be complete. There are alot of girls who don't have that watchful eye, that one person that can talk to about sex and relationships and get some REAL answers. Same goes for Black boys as well. In retrospect, would you have gone to your homeboys for answers knowing they did not know s***? Exactly ... no! Boys need an open forum to discuss these things too.
So as I close out this blog, I thank the 75 of you who continued to come to this blog (much respect LOL!), Deadspin for the feature (Daulerio, much respect) and my father, for making me realize that I have gifts to give to a young girl out there: wisdom, guidance and open ears.
HAPPY FATHERS DAY, DAD! and to all the fathers out there. We should celebrate our fathers every day of the year, believe that.